Friday, September 9, 2011

Top 5: T-shirts you should never wear if you're a dude and you're trying to get laid.

God knows why stores like Urban Outfitters and Topman keep on trying to impose these monstrosities on the torsos of our male youth. If you're a dude and you are in fact trying to get laid anytime soon, avoid wearing the following: (or face the consequences).


You know what would be reaaally awesome? If you didn't show up wearing the list of excuses you're planning to use the morning after. Actually, if you are wearing this t-shirt, you won't even need morning after excuses since there won't even be a "night before".













Perfection doesn't exist. Neither should a dude who would wear this t-shirt. 

















If you are in fact making this t-shirt look good, why is this t-shirt making you look like such a douche















The only (and I insist, ONLY) situation in which you could wear this t-shirt and still be able to get some, is camping. 
(in fact, you'd be the most awesome coolest dude ever and I would totes go to your tent!). But if you decide to wear this on any other context, consider yourself lucky if you don't get beat up. Or shot. 







If we decide to finally meet up at the bar for a drink, I would advise you not to wear a t-shirt with a huge picture of a chick we both know you jerk off to. 
Not to mention she is probably way hotter and with way bigger boobs than me, so we both know you'd rather sleep with her than with me, hell, I would rather sleep with her than with you!
So let's just spare us the awkwardness shall we?












Needless to say, you are excluded from all of these situations if you are insanely good looking.  
All t-shirts from www.topman.us.